Arrogance. It's important to know
Arrogance — a Vice to which our society is very lenient attitude. And in vain. Arrogance is one of the most pernicious defects, because it gives rise to other vices to some extent. For example, if a person has a habit of anger or just he has some dependencies, it certainly worsens the quality of his life, but he is quite capable of being a pleasant companion, and a good friend, and Executive subordinate, and a good boss, which can not be said for those whose hearts are affected by such a disease as arrogance. An arrogant person is not able to critically assess his condition and himself as a whole — this is the main problem. Such a person a priori considers himself better, smarter, more successful than others. And often generally believed that surrounding just the worst of it without any specific reasons. Just all around not worthy. And this is a very dangerous position, because it deprives a person of a critical view of the world and sanity in General.
In modern society, such a Vice as anger is widespread. Often people even consider angry behavior the norm, because if something goes wrong, as we planned, or someone infringes on our interests, then anger in such a situation is supposedly quite natural. However, in most cases, people can still track the harmfulness of angry behavior. And if a person has such a Vice, it is often seen that after an outburst of anger, he becomes repentant, the person can even ask for forgiveness and, perhaps, even make an effort to change. Thus, despite the fact that a person has a disadvantage, he is aware of its presence and in some cases even tries to fight it. Arrogance is a bad thing.
Not only is such a person, to put it mildly ," not a gift" and communication with him, often, just a burden, so he still has no critical attitude to his condition. That is, he does not see his lack. And if he begins to say something on the subject of " crown on his head — - it, on the contrary, only roots such a person in the idea that all around all unworthy people who are not even able to understand him. And that generally, they say, with them foolish to talk. And this position only further aggravates the already strained relations with others. After all, who likes to communicate with someone who doesn't see anything around except his person, and all the other considers only the unworthy and the foolish people who only hinder him their lack of understanding.
Where does the arrogance come from and where does it manifest itself
Oddly enough, arrogance is often due to low self-esteem. That's the way. People having certain systems and beliefs that he is inferior, subconsciously includes "protective response," and the pendulum is flying in the opposite direction — man "wears the crown" and begins to consider himself exceptional, and all its failures, withdraws to the fact that it is surrounded by unworthy people, who prevented him to realize all his potential and talents. Such a person on a deep subconscious level is jealous of successful people who have achieved what he can not achieve. And this envy leads a person to the fact that he begins to justify his failures simply by the fact that the world around is imperfect and the people around too. And such jealousy with arrogance generally leads to loneliness.
Because to communicate with someone who only considers himself smart and beautiful, and all around jerks to anyone unpleasant. And the sad thing is that the loneliness of such a person only further roots him in the belief that he is special, "not of this world" and so on. He begins to reflect on the fact that "geniuses have always been rejected", "talented people were not recognized by contemporaries." A person is immersed in his fantasies about his own exclusivity, talent, perfection, and in especially severe cases — God's choice, and so on (this can even lead to mental disorders such as megalomania).
But even if arrogance is manifested at the domestic level, it also leads to conflicts with others. And sooner or later such a person inevitably finds himself "in the void" — former friends and acquaintances are gradually eliminated, and new ones also do not appear, because such a person instantly repels everyone by his behavior. Although often such people acquire the skill of "putting on a mask", playing the role of virtuous and peaceful. But it's all very shaky-as soon as anyone doubts the positive qualities of an arrogant person and his "special status" relative to the rest, the mask will immediately be dropped, the person will show his true face and everything will fall into place.
Arrogance: synonyms and antonyms
The most accurate synonym that reflects the essence of arrogance is pride. It is important to separate the concepts of "pride "(self-esteem) and" pride " (when a person puts himself above others, believing that he is superior to others on some grounds). Such good Russian words as "arrogance" and "arrogance" also reflect the essence of arrogance. The most striking antonym of arrogance, perhaps, can be considered the word "humility". And humility is the most effective antidote to arrogance.
Meaning of the word "arrogance"
Arrogance is a " high measure." That is, in this word we are talking about the fact that a person makes high demands on others-highly "measures" them. And this is the basic error. A reasonable person tries to make high demands on himself — and this position leads him to perfection. And the arrogant person already considers himself perfect (although most often to perfection there is still very far), but to all others makes demands, wanting to see around only perfect people. Just like he thinks he is.
Signs of arrogance
What does arrogance mean? What are the signs of arrogance? Arrogant man, literally, gives "crown" on his head. Such people are very jealous of their reputation, often worry about what other people think about them, although they defiantly disregard other people's opinions. In the speech of such people is very common to hear condemnation of others, even for the most minor flaws and misdeeds. For others, such people often respond either negatively or contemptuous or, at best, just condescending on the principle of "what to take with them".
In the speech of such a person is often traced this position: "I always do everything right, always right in everything, and if I do something does not work, it is the fault of others, because because of their imperfection spoil everything." And with this philosophy, the arrogant person like the red flag, goes through life, pushing people away from you by their behavior and arrogant attitude. Arrogant arrogance almost always leads to the fact that a person ends up alone. Because it is simply impossible to communicate with him or have any common Affairs-be it a hobby, business, vacation.
How to get rid of arrogance
As mentioned above, the problem of arrogance is that people often do not have a critical perception of reality and their own personality. Arrogant people, you might say, live in a sort of their own little world, where man himself is the center of the Universe, and everything that happens around him has a direct relationship to him. All people in such a person are divided into two categories: those who recognize his exclusivity and perfection (such people fall into the category of "friends"), and those who do not recognize and do not notice the merits and good qualities of such a person, which — in his purely subjective opinion — he allegedly has (such people fall into the category of "enemies").
And so, dividing this world into "friends" and "enemies" (and the first is getting smaller every day, and the circle of the second is expanding all the time), a person begins to sink further into his illusions, where he is the pinnacle of perfection, and all around are insignificant, miserable people who do not understand anything. And the longer he follows this paradigm, the worse his condition gets and the thicker the veil falls on his eyes, and reality becomes for him a " Kingdom of crooked mirrors."
How to get rid of arrogance? To begin to try to track down all signs of "disease". Observe yourself, try to abstract from your experiences and persistent beliefs. If you begin to notice that all your conversations are reduced to the fact that everyone around is mistaken or behave incorrectly, and you are always right in all situations, this is an occasion to think that maybe you are an arrogant person. If you observe that you treat others with disdain, consider yourself better than others and constantly condemn people, then arrogance has become your quality and something must be done about it. And the best way to get rid of this deficiency is to cultivate humility. Overestimated self-esteem is no better than low self-esteem, it's just the "flip side of the coin."
There is an opinion that overestimated self-esteem is almost always the consequences of low self-esteem and is simply a protective mechanism of the psyche. So arrogance is most often due to self-doubt, which is hidden deep in the subconscious, the belief in their inferiority and other complexes. And that's what you need to work with. Try to analyze your childhood, your entire past life — when did the arrogant attitude towards people and how it developed. Most likely, you will note that for some period of life you, on the contrary, had low self-esteem and you thought that you are in some ways worse than others, you do not work and so on. And then the pendulum swung in the other direction, and the psyche began to work in a different direction - began condemning others and thinking that they are somehow worse than you. Both are equally painful and lead to social maladjustment.
To cope with arrogance, it is necessary to work out their deep complexes and problems. Solve it just at the level of consciousness, most likely, will not work. You have to work with the subconscious. To do this, the most effective will be meditation. You can also be advised to practice Vipassana, ten-day immersion in yourself and your inner world. As the experience of many practitioners shows, Vipassana allows you to get better acquainted with your inner world and not only understand the causes of problems, but also to eliminate them as quickly and effectively as possible.
Test for arrogance
There are 12 signs of arrogance, the presence of which may indicate that you may have arrogance:
- Unwillingness to ask questions. An arrogant person believes that he knows everything he needs, and he is a priori smarter than others.
- Also a sign of arrogance is unwillingness to ask questions about the Path that a person is walking. An arrogant person thinks he already knows how he will be better.
- Non-perception of criticism. An arrogant person considers himself perfect and perceives any criticism as unfounded.
- In conversation, an arrogant person always speaks and listens only to himself. He is not interested in the point of view of his interlocutor, because the interlocutor is already, by default, mistaken.
- Constant attempts to teach someone are also a sign of arrogance. Man believes that only he is right, and all around are mistaken and it is urgent to " instruct them on the right path."
- Love of praise. An arrogant man loves to be praised. After all, it is always deserved.
- Non-perception of inconvenient truth. If an arrogant person is told the truth that infringes on his interests, he will reject any arguments.
- An arrogant person thinks he is smarter than others. He thinks everyone makes mistakes. All but himself.
- The thirst for power and getting pleasure from management, and more often-from humiliation and domination over others.
- Oddly enough, sycophancy is one of the signs of arrogance. Man, wanting to create for themselves comfortable conditions, seeks please higher, to to gain even more power and influence.
- Constant talk about the shortcomings of others. And the constant humiliation and insults of other people on this basis.
- Non-recognition of own mistakes. Inability to apologize and repent.
The problem of arrogance is the scourge of modernity
In our society, the problem of arrogant attitude to others is highly developed. And all this often comes from childhood. Parents allow two extremes in the upbringing of the child. First, the child is taught that he is special, chosen, not like everyone else, that he is better than others, that there are only losers and plebeians. The second: the child is taught that he is a jerk, not capable of anything, a loser, a lazy person and, in General, does not have any talents and good qualities. And both these extremes in education lead in adult life to arrogance.
It is clear that if a child is raised as a Prince (in a bad context of this concept), then he will consider in adult life that everyone should. However, if you go to the other extreme and constantly instill in the child that he is worthless, then the protective mechanism of the psyche will work and the child will begin to inspire himself that his parents are wrong and in fact he is the most talented and successful. And only finding the Golden mean in the matter of education can give a decent result and raise a man who will neither belittle himself nor elevate.
It is very difficult sometimes to find a middle ground. In different methods of education there is such a concept that up to five years the child should be "brought up as God", that is, everything is allowed and nothing is limited. This avoids the appearance in the psyche of various complexes and fears. And after five years, the child, on the contrary, is placed in ascetic (within reasonable limits) conditions, so that he understood certain boundaries that can not be crossed. But at the same time, to act not out of fear, but with an understanding of why one way or another can not do.
This, of course, is just a version and one of the methods of education, and how it is relevant and safe — the question remains open, but the method is very curious. In any case, any excessive suppression of the child, as well as permissiveness, lead to deplorable results. Therefore, it remains to be recommended to stick to the Golden mean, not to fall into extremes and to observe sanity.